


Five Years Spent Thinking About You

by naiadNyx



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: 5 Years After BrightMoon AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:56:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24964117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naiadNyx/pseuds/naiadNyx
Summary: Five Years after Adora found the sword, the war was finally over, in a way that no one expected:The Horde was offering peace.Even so, after an entire war fighting each other, Adora wondered if she and Catra would ever be able to reconnect, or if Catra had already moved on.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), Kyle/Rogelio (She-Ra), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 241





	1. Finally, Peace

Five years. It had been five years since Adora had found the Sword of Protection, since she had met Glimmer and Bow, since…

It had been five years since her childhood friend had turned into her archnemesis.

After the Battle of Bright Moon, the Horde had become more covert, attacking only strategic points or raiding First Ones ruins. Adora had met Catra on the battlefield multiple times, her heart breaking with each swing of her sword and each swipe of Catra’s claws. It almost came as a relief when she started to see Catra less and less as the war went on, when she stopped feeling so heartbroken after each encounter.

Almost.

It had been four months since she had last seen Catra, and three months before that. No longer did Catra taunt her or greet her with a smirk, instead choosing to attack from the shadows without warning, if she wasn’t ignoring Adora altogether. Seeing Catra was a rarity now, and Adora pored over each battle report from the Rebellion, hoping to catch some of her presence there at least.

Then, quiet.

No invasions, no reports of new Horde weaponry attacking villages. The Horde was silent, no trace of its drones or soldiers anywhere but patrolling the Fright Zone. For decades, Hordak had waged an endless war on Etheria and its denizens, and now, nothing. The princesses were unnerved, Adora even moreso. No matter how much she wracked her brain, she couldn’t imagine what would cause the Horde to stop fighting. She couldn’t imagine what would cause  _ Catra _ to stop fighting, to stop seeking her out.

She could, actually, but she would rather not think about the possibility that Catra had moved on.

So, Adora distracted herself the best way she knew how. She worked on reparations of Etheria, on trying to become a better She-Ra. The war had ravaged the planet, becoming more intense as the natural magic of the land and Horde technology became exponentially stronger. She-Ra visited each princess, trying her best to heal the broken land. It was hard, when she had been raised to fight, and nothing else, and the lack of resources and skilled workers hampered recovery efforts. It was after returning to Bright Moon from one of those missions when she learned that a nervous Horde soldier, a former squad member of hers, had delivered an unexpected message.

The Horde was offering a peace treaty.

* * *

Adora sighed, her reflection mirroring her conflicted expression and discomfort. She was wearing a red dress, her normal uniform exchanged for a formal outfit. It suited her, the lack of sleeves displaying her physique while the rest of the fabric wrapped around her body pleasingly, and it reminded her of the dress she had worn to the Princess Prom five years ago. She wondered if Catra would recognize it.

A sword hilt still peeked over her shoulder, however. No matter how much the Horde had emphasized on a  _ peaceful _ meeting, going so far as to set it up on neutral ground, Adora’s - She-Ra’s - experience led her to believe that no meeting between the Rebellion and the Horde could end without bloodshed.

“Adora, I still think we can’t trust them. It’s  _ the Horde _ , they’re evil!” Glimmer had entered Adora’s room without her noticing, too caught up in her reminiscing as she was. ”As soon as all the princesses are gathered they’re going to blow us all up or something!” Adora frowned, and adjusted the scabbard on her back.

“This could be the only chance we have for peace, Glimmer. I don’t want to ruin that.” Adora’s words were whispered, hesitant. She was trying to convince herself just as much as Glimmer.

Her friend frowned in the mirror’s reflection. “I don’t like it. The Horde has been trying to conquer Etheria for so long, and suddenly they just give up?” Glimmer huffed, her frustration obvious. “They have to be planning something.”

Adora sighed. Glimmer was right, of course. It went against every Horde teaching she knew to ask for peace, and she couldn’t believe that Hordak had suddenly decided to get along with the planet he had spent decades trying to conquer.

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts, and she saw Bow peek into the room, his expression matching the worried looks Glimmer and Adora wore. “It’s time, we need to go.”

Adora collected herself one last time, the sword on her back heavy but comforting. She had fought the Horde for years, and trained as a soldier for almost two decades prior to that. Whatever awaited them in the meeting room, Adora knew she would be ready.

* * *

Adora was not ready.

She didn’t know what she had expected upon entering the room. A platoon of soldiers, or an explosion, or even Hordak himself pointing a blaster to the door, scowling as he promised to rid the planet of the princesses.

What she did not expect was how much Catra had changed. Adora’s breath caught in surprise as she looked at her former friend. Catra’s hair was tamed, brushed back into a ponytail, and her clothes were sharp and handsome, not quite a suit but no less formal. What struck Adora the most, however, was Catra’s expression. Gone was the smirk and taunting demeanor she knew, instead here Catra was stiff-backed, serious, and completely indifferent to Adora’s presence.

It would hurt, if Adora had allowed herself to feel something for her old friend in the past year.

She took a seat opposite Catra, the two facing each other without making eye contact from opposite ends of a long table. The other princesses followed their lead, warily taking their seats between them. Adora noticed Scorpia and Entrapta to either side of Catra, meaning every princess was present for a meeting for the first time in years. That had felt like an impossible task just a week ago, to have them all in the same room.

As soon as all of them were seated, an uneasy silence fell on the attendants. Catra eyed each of the princesses in turn, and Adora’s heart dropped when she merely passed over her with zero acknowledgement.

Catra had never felt so far away, not even in the months when Adora had received no reports of her on the battlefield.

“So can we get this over with?” Mermista’s impatient but still bored voice broke the silence, looking disinterested as usual as she checked her nails. “Blah blah, the Horde wants us to surrender, sets off a trap, then She-Ra saves the day. We know how this is going to work.”

Glimmer spoke up next. “She’s right, Catra has never once fought fair.” She glared at the Horde commander in question. “If Hordak wanted to argue a peace treaty, he could have been here himself.”

Catra finally expressed something other than indifference, her signature smirk growing on her face as she leaned forward to rest her face in her hands. Adora almost missed her confidence, but years of seeing that expression in the midst of battle set her on edge, her hand itching as she tried not to reach for her sword.

“Aw, princesses, did you not once think to scout out the Fright Zone? You’re so out of the loop. Hordak isn’t in charge anymore.” The princesses all stared in shock. Catra’s smile grew, and finally she locked eyes with Adora. “I am.”

Immediately, the room erupted into chaos, each princess expressing her disbelief or confusion, but Adora just sat there, across from Catra, numb.

For the rest of the meeting, Catra didn’t even look at her.

* * *

“I don’t get it!”

Glimmer paced Bright Moon’s council room, occasionally teleporting in a fit of frustrated sparkles. Adora and Bow had tried and failed to calm her down, and now had resigned themselves to just letting her wear out her frustrations.

“First, we go  _ months _ neither seeing nor hearing  _ anything _ from the Horde, then they ask us for a ceasefire, and now we find out  _ Catra _ is in charge!” Glimmer teleported in front of her seat, slamming her hands down and staring down the rest of the Rebellion. “Make it make sense!”

Perfuma shrugged, her calm expression betrayed by her fidgeting hands as she made yet another flower crown. “Maybe Catra really doesn’t want to fight us anymore? I think she has far less of a reason to fight than whatever kept Hordak motivated for all those years.”

“I don’t buy it.” Frosta scoffed from her seat, her feet kicked up on the table in front of her. “Catra has literally blown up every single party we’ve thrown since Princess Prom five years ago. If she wanted peace she could have  _ at least _ let me have just one.  _ One! _ ” Frost stood up, a shock of ice freezing the air around her. “Can I have just  _ one _ party where the Horde doesn’t explode something!?”

“Technically the last time it happened, Sea Hawk was the one who set off the bombs, so...” Mermista shrugged as Frosta glared at her.

“But, thankfully we have someone who knows Catra quite well, isn’t that right Adora?” Spinerella’s comment drew all eyes to Adora, who readjusted herself in her seat.

“I…” She hesitated. “I don’t know what she’s thinking.” It hurt far more than she expected to admit it out loud, that she no longer knew the woman she had grown up with.

Maybe she never knew her from the beginning.

Bow cleared his throat, eyeing her worriedly. “There’s also the deal she gave us.”

A few seconds passed while an awkward silence fell on the room. None of the princesses seemed comfortable expressing their thoughts on Catra’s offer to them, a trade agreement unique to each nation’s needs.

“I think…” Perfuma started, “I think I’m going to accept it.” All eyes turned towards her in surprise, and she shrunk a bit before the pile of flowers in front of her. “Plumeria has suffered greatly because of the war, and Catra offered to have Entrapta develop technology for our farmers, and with their help we can easily give them the food they want in return.” She looked up, her eyes filled with newfound resolve. “I want what’s best for my people.”

“Same here.” Mermista spoke up next. “Most of Salineas’ boats were turned into military ships to fight off the Horde. Catra said she could easily develop a whole fleet of fishing ships, which is something my queendom desperately needs.” She shrugged, her nonchalant expression not matching the steel in her voice. “I don’t want Salineas to starve because of my pride.”

“You can’t be serious!” Glimmer looked around at the rest of the room, her disbelief obvious. “Are we seriously going to believe that Catra,  _ the Catra _ who has been a thorn in our side for  _ five years _ is going to give up and surrender?”

“She’s not surrendering.” Adora’s voice surprised everyone, even herself. Still, that was at least something she knew for certain. “Catra isn’t surrendering. I don’t know if she’s being honest about peace, but Catra would never give up fighting for what she wants.” That was what Adora admired most about her ex-best friend. She was a fighter, a born rebel against anything that tried to control her, always aiming higher.

“She also offered us Hordak.” Netossa’s bluntness quieted the room once more. That had been something Catra had shocked everyone with, offering Hordak to be tried for his crimes at Bright Moon, as a show of good faith that the Horde was under better management. It was clear no one knew what to make of that.

“Maybe she really is serious? About peace?” Bow whispered.

Adora shook her head, memories of Catra’s hateful glare across the battlefield still fresh in her mind, so different to how they would look at each other growing up in the Horde. “Is that what she really wants?”


	2. The New Fright Zone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora visits the Fright Zone, and tries to manage the mix of nostalgia and discomfort.

_ “What are you doing?” _

_ “Take it. This is  _ not _ because I like you.” _

_ … _

_ “Catra, I-“ _

_ “Just. Get outta here.” _

“Adora, you all right?” Glimmer’s voice broke through the memories, her dress no longer tattered, the sirens that Adora had heard blaring in the Fright Zone now silent.

“Yeah, sorry it’s…” Adora sighed, turning back to the scenery in front of her. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been back.”

The weeks that passed after the treaty between the Princess Alliance and the Horde was signed had been busy, as all of Etheria healed from the war that scarred the planet. She-Ra had been traveling to ensure each city and village had remained peaceful, the distrust of the Horde still strong even after they took up hammers and blueprints instead of blasters and war plans, and now she was finally accompanying Glimmer on a diplomatic mission into the Fright Zone, a first for the Princess Alliance. Adora couldn’t decide on what unsettled her most, the tension that hung in the air while Horde ex-soldiers built back the villages they had destroyed, or that Catra actually seemed sincere about her desire for peace.

Maybe it was the Fright Zone itself that felt the most surreal to Adora. The oppressive, choking smog was gone, replaced with clouds that were grayer than normal but let some moonlight through for a natural day-night cycle. Plants and bushes grew between walkways, like they had been placed there for decoration, an alien concept to the Horde Adora knew. Even the constant hum of electricity she had grown up with was different, more muted and soft, fitting the sleeker designs of new buildings that matched the First Ones’ aesthetic. There were still fragments of machinery and older buildings, but it was rare, converted little by little in a patchwork fashion.

“It really has been a while, huh?” Glimmer seemed just as hesitant to step foot into the new Fright Zone. “The last time we were here was after Princess Prom.”

So they’d been remembering the same thing. “Yeah, this is nothing like the Fright Zone I grew up with. It looks…”

“Peaceful? Natural? Better?”

Adora shook her head. “No, it feels…” For a second, she could remember the scenery she had spent her childhood in, chasing her best friend through hallways and climbing rickety metal towers as they laughed. Then she blinked, and it was gone. “Different.”

“Are you going to be okay?” It was Bow who spoke this time, wearing the uniform of an official Bright Moon envoy instead of armor. It suited him, especially since he had customized it to show off his midriff.

Adora nodded stiffly. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll be fine.” She took a deep breath, but the air was unfamiliar, so she breathed it out quickly in a sigh. “We’re not at war anymore, this is just a diplomatic mission. I can do this.”

She didn’t miss the look between Bow and Glimmer, but she didn’t acknowledge it either. “Are you sure? We just needed to talk about Bright Moon stuff. It’s going to be pretty boring, you don’t have to stay if it’s too much.” 

“I’m fine, Bow.” Adora wished she believed that herself. After the war had ended, Adora had felt herself lose more and more confidence that she could help Etheria. There were always rebuilding efforts to help with, but Horde technology was more efficient than any one person, even She-Ra, could match. Without an enemy to fight, the sword she wielded felt almost meaningless. Most of the time she either rode Swift Wind to visit Razz or lazed about in her room. It was torture, having nothing to do. Glimmer and Bow were always busy keeping everything running, and Adora felt like a deadweight with how lacking her skill in bureaucracy was.

“So you’ll be okay even though we’re about to see Catra again?” Bow elbowed Glimmer unsubtly, but the question had already been asked.

“Come on guys, you act like we’re both going to fight to the death as soon as we see each other.” Adora’s voice was not as casual as she would have liked, still sounding strained even to her.

“We don’t think you want to  _ fight _ her...”

Adora didn’t hear Glimmer’s muttered comment, or Bow’s hasty coughing behind her. At least, that’s what she told herself. She looked at her feet, staring down at the smooth walkway reminiscent of the Crystal Castle. Delaying this was only making the dread so much worse. She needed to move on. Adora held her breath and stepped forward, ignoring the squirming discomfort she felt deep inside herself growing with each step.

* * *

“Good evening, your Highness.” Catra’s voice still held the resonant purr of confidence that Adora knew, but it was calmer, not as hostile as she remembered. Something else that had changed, it seemed.

“Catra.” Glimmer nodded stiffly, her hands clenched in fists. The new leader of the Horde turned around and walked deeper into the Fright Zone, her tail swaying behind her carefully.

Catra still wouldn’t look at her. Adora took a breath to calm herself, ignoring the glances Bow and Glimmer sent her way. She focused on a point ahead of her, not quite on Catra, but over her old friend’s shoulder. She was determined to not get caught up in the way Catra’s eyes glowed in the ethereal light, or her voice as she detailed the changes made in the Fright Zone by Entrapta’s technology. Adora definitely did not focus on Catra’s slender fingers as she pointed out landmarks, or her hips, swaying side to side with her tail, the confident, unbroken stride of hers so incredibly-

Nope. Not going there. Those were not good thoughts for She-Ra to have about her former nemesis. So she didn’t think them, didn’t feel a blush lighting up her cheeks as her eyes followed her tour guide  _ and nothing else _ without once looking away. No, not at all, not in the slightest.

As the group turned a corner, a laugh and a hissing noise finally drew Adora’s attention from Catra’s- from Catra, and she spied Kyle and Rogelio on a bench nearby. Adora blinked. Her former squadmates were leaning against each other,  _ cuddling _ in broad daylight like they hadn’t been raised to fear showing weakness in front of others. Adora quickly turned to Catra, but she couldn’t see what expression the Horde leader wore from behind as she stepped forward.

“Hey, you two.” Adora made a move to step forward and tell Catra that relationships weren’t a sign of weakness, not that Adora knew because no, of course she hadn’t dated anyone during the war, and of course neither had Catra, right? That would be ridiculous. But before she could almost assuredly embarrass herself in front of everyone, Catra had already crossed the courtyard.

“Oh! Hey Catra!” Since when did Kyle sound so relaxed? “Was there something you needed?”

“Nah, not much.” Adora could see Catra’s expression now, surprised by the smile she saw. “I was just giving the Bright Moon envoys a tour. How’s the kid?”

What. Adora’s jaw fell open, but no sound came out, and she barely managed to compose herself just in time before Glimmer and Bow noticed her reaction. Kyle…and Rogelio? Were openly a couple?  _ Had a kid? _

Suddenly, she felt like she didn’t know Catra or the Horde at all.

“Sorry about that, princess.” Catra’s voice startled her, and she turned around to face her. Catra hadn’t been talking to her, however, her gaze pointed directly at Glimmer.

The tour continued. But Adora’s focus was broken, and she kept running through memories of Catra and running around the Fright Zone together. There were occasional paths she remembered from her childhood, startlingly familiar even with the alien architecture. The alleyway where Catra always hid from Octavia. A small landfill behind which Catra had comforted her after the only time Shadow Weaver had been angry at her. The building behind which they had shared their first kiss, excusing it as practice for CPR training the next day.

Adora couldn’t concentrate on Catra’s words anymore. As they turned a hallway, she nudged Glimmer. “Hey, I’m going to head to the bathroom.”

Glimmer looked at her in concern, then back at Catra. “I can come with you, if you need to talk?”

Adora shook her head. “No. I mean, I’m fine.” She tried to smile, but Catra’s voice was still ever present in the background, and it  _ hurt _ . “I’ll be back later, I just need to get over things. Alone.”

She ran off before anyone could stop her, not daring to turn around to see if Catra had even noticed.

* * *

In all honesty, deciding to run away from a tour guide in a place she didn’t know was not the best plan Adora had ever thought of. It’s not like she didn’t think things through, after all she had been one of the primary strategists in the war. Even so, her plans almost always consisted of straightforward attacks, while the sneaking around and smart deployment of troops was usually-

She blinked back tears, trying to clear her mind.

It would be of no use to stop herself from thinking of Catra, but even so, the memories they had shared seemed all the more painful now that the war was over. Did their childhood growing up in the Horde mean nothing to Catra now? Is that why she had replaced every part of the Horde, piece by piece? Was it to get rid of any traces of what they were to each other?

Adora rested against a wall, breathing heavily as tears fell from her eyes. She had always thought that once the war was over, she and Catra could be close again, sleep in the same bed again, spend all day together again. But now, seeing how little Catra acknowledged her presence, she doubted such a thing was possible. Deep down, she knew that there was a chance that prioritizing her responsibilities as She-Ra might mean she would never be able to live the life she had hoped for, but she had never dared to confront those thoughts, always prolonging that confrontation of duty and desire.

Light Hope had tried to teach her how to let go, but it seems Adora wasn’t as good of a student as she thought.

As Adora’s breaths evened out, she started noticing something odd, a different sound other than the humming of technology around her. The sharp buzz of a welder echoed slightly in the hall, and Adora spotted a door nearby. Curiosity getting the better of her, she activated for the panel beside it and walked through.

“Log Number 684, Final Frontier Project. Previous experiments with a localized spacial rift have been moderately successful, and mapping of Despondos’ astral topography has allowed me to better control gravity fluctuations when breaching the dimension.”

Adora had understood none of that, which meant she knew exactly who had said it, though the unique voice and moving purple hair were plenty of hints on their own.

“Entrapta?” Entrapta turned, and Adora had to muffle a squeak as the welding mask’s eyes flickered menacingly in the dim light. Then, Entrapta flicked up the mask, showing her usual bright smile and excitement.

“Hi Adora! I was just working on an old project of mine, something me and my lab partner were trying to fix up a long time ago.” Entrapta smiled, and turned back to work on the strange device in front of her.

“Oh. Wait, Entrapta, uh, can we talk?” Adora’s apprehension grew as Entrapta seemed to ignore her, but then suddenly she flicked off the welder and shut the panel in front of her, turning around and lifting up the mask again.

“Sure.”

Adora shuffled in place. Okay, so she knew Entrapta was probably one of the worst people to talk about this with, short of Light Hope or Etheria forbid, Catra herself, but Entrapta had spent almost five years with the Horde, and Catra’s use of increasingly advanced technology meant that they must have interacted many times. Maybe she would know what Catra was thinking. She just needed to be subtle, and approach the topic delicately.

“Do you think Catra still cares about me?”

Yes, perfect. As subtle as a sword to the face. Adora inwardly facepalmed as she awaited Entrapta’s response.

“Of course she does!”

Never mind, forget subtlety. The sudden soaring sensation in her heart was reaching out as a blush now, and Adora had to suppress a giggle of excitement. “So does that mean she might want to be friends again?” Really, Adora wanted to hope for more, wanted to hope that Catra reciprocated the feelings that had lay repressed and suffocated inside her ever since Thaymor, but at this point she knew she couldn’t be selfish.

Entrapta tilted her head. “I don’t think Catra has expressed any desire to reconnect with you as friends.”

Oh. Suddenly the room felt much colder, the happiness and excitement fading from Adora and being filled by a cold emptiness. Entrapta must have noticed her reaction, since she continued speaking.

“I wouldn’t take it personally, Catra has been spending all day working on reforming the Horde into a proper nation. She hasn’t visited my lab in a few weeks, either, since she can just get someone to deliver the city plans. Even Scorpia says they rarely get to talk nowadays.” Entrapta fiddled with her hair, glancing at Adora to check her reaction.

Adora felt the emptiness slowly being replaced by concern. “So, she isn’t really close to anyone here?”

“Well, yes and no. She still has to act like a tough leader in front of the Horde, but she’s opened up a lot more to her former squad and the Super Pal Trio.”

Adora blinked. “The what?”

Entrapta smiled, clearly reliving a fond memory. “That’s what Scorpia calls me, her, and Catra. We stuck together a lot during the war, though it got a little awkward after Scorpia asked Catra to be her girlfriend.”

Time seemed to slow down, and Adora could feel the air becoming oppressing, suffocating. “Scorpia asked out Catra?”

Entrapta seemed to not notice her reaction, still too caught up reminiscing. “Yeah, Catra never expected it. She managed to calm down a lot though afterwards though, I guess she realized she had still had something to fight for in the Horde.” Entrapta heard the door open and close, and the sound of rapid footsteps quickly becoming quieter. She looked back at where Adora had been standing, but didn’t see the woman anywhere in the room.

Huh. Was it something she said? Entrapta would’ve thought Adora would be happy to know how much better Catra’s mental state had been as of late. She shrugged, trying to ignore the nervousness she felt after another failed social interaction, and decided to make a note to talk about it the next time she met up with the rest of the Super Pal Trio. That always helped.

“Log 27 of not being good at people…”

* * *

Adora rushed through the corridors, twisting and winding her way through to the deepest section of the Fright Zone. Her chest hurt, her breathing heavy and labored. Whether it was because of running away or the knot of emotions in her, she didn’t know.

She knew she had no reason to be so jealous, after an entire war spent fighting Catra, after not being there for her when she needed to be, but even so, knowing Catra had moved on was too much.

The smell of rust paired with her feet scratching against the floor slowly brought her back to her senses, and she wiped at the tears in her eyes. The area around her looked familiar, far more so than the other places she had seen. There was a sign on the door near her, and recognition dawned on her. She had, either by coincidence or habit, walked all the way back to her old dormitory, and she could recognize the marks along the floor and walls that Catra had scratched up when they were children.

Adora faced the door, hand resting on the panel to her side automatically. Would it even still open? She didn’t remember seeing the modern touches of First Ones’ technology for quite a while, so it was entirely possible this section had been cut off and condemned.

That was another stab of pain to her heart, though it was lessened when the door actually opened. Adora couldn’t help but wonder why, but she was already losing herself in memories as she stepped inside.

It was surprising to see everything just the way she had left it. She could almost see her squadmates, sleeping peacefully while she snuck out to the Whispering Woods to find She-Ra’s sword. All but her own bed was made, the sheets looking oddly clean and well taken care of. With a smile, she crossed the room and sat on its side, smiling when she saw the cat fur scattered over it all. Had Catra been sleeping here? Even after Adora had left the Horde?

Adora’s eyes suddenly caught sight of something, an odd engraving in the wall. Her breath caught as she looked closer. It was the small chalk drawing Catra had made of them, but scratched out with claw marks. The air in the room felt stifling as Adora could only imagine the kind of emotional distress Catra had gone through in this very room. Knowing that, she was surprised at how well taken care of it was. If Catra had moved on, wouldn’t she have torn down this building first?

Adora got up, hurrying out of the room. If their bunks were still intact, maybe, just maybe…

It was odd, being able to recognize where she was, after so long. She traced her old paths, eventually finding her way to her and Catra’s favorite spot, a small balcony overlooking much of the Fright Zone. It was probably the best place she could think of to sort things out, but when she opened the door to the roof, she was met with surprised blue and gold eyes.

Catra was leaning against the balcony, the Fright Zone behind her split roughly between the older, rusting scrapheap of their childhood and the newer architecture built with First Ones’ technology. Adora stared, unwilling to break eye contact first. She felt like she had been dying of thirst in a desert, and seeing Catra settle her features into her typical relaxed confidence while looking at her felt like a personal oasis. Catra smiled shyly, her tail flicking behind the fence.

“Hey Adora.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally getting to talk to each other next chapter, yay! Also Entrapta is always pretty relatable in this, she deserves having some support from her friends.


	3. Promises Kept

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora and Catra have a long overdue conversation

“Hey Adora.”

“Catra.” Her name fell from Adora’s lips like a sigh. Seeing her now felt like a cruel twist of fate. She still didn’t know what she meant to Catra now, or what she could do to bridge the gap that had grown between them, if it was even possible. Still, Adora knew she would regret ever letting this chance slip away.

Adora swallowed, fists clenching as she tried to work out what to say. “I wanted to talk to you. I haven’t seen you much since the war ended.” The accusation that laced her voice surprised them both, and Adora mentally scolded herself for losing control of her emotions. Was this how Catra had felt, every time she had lashed out at Adora during the war? She felt sick.

“Yeah, uh. Sparkles kind of got on my case about that.” Catra scratched the back of her neck, and Adora’s heart squeezed. That wasn’t a habit of Catra’s that she was familiar with, and the sudden unfamiliarity of it was nauseating. “Sorry, Adora. I’ve been kind of a bitch, haven’t I?”

Adora blinked, surprised that Catra had apologized so easily. “No, it’s-“ Everything was so different now. “It’s fine.” It wasn’t. “I should apologize too, for everything, I knew you were miserable here but…”  _ I left you.  _ “I keep thinking if I had tried harder, if I had reached out to you more, then-“

“Adora, hey, it’s okay. Breathe, come on.” Catra had stepped closer, but not close enough, hovering a couple of feet away. Adora wanted to undo Catra’s ponytail and run her fingers through her mane again, like she had when they were younger. She wanted to tear apart everything unfamiliar and foreign, she wanted to scream at Catra every want she had repressed during the war. Instead, she took a shuddering breath and wiped at her eyes.

They both settled into an uneasy silence, not able to look at each other. Adora hated how common that situation had become.

“It’s okay, you know.” Adora watched Catra’s tail, noting the small flicks that meant she was nervous. At least that she recognized. “We can talk about how much we wish things had gone differently, but we’re here now, aren’t we?” Catra gave her a small smile, and Adora felt herself returning it after a second. “And I still found friends that helped me out here, so it’s not like I was all on my own.”

“The Super Pal Trio, right?” Adora tried to ignore the surge of jealousy that rose in her. How unfair, to want to be the most important person in Catra’s life after all that had happened between them.

“Huh?” Wait, was Catra…? “Wh-who told you about that!?” Wow, Catra was absolutely mortified, she had never seen Catra be that embarrassed before. Adora let herself laugh a little. Catra’s tail spiking up in response was too cute. “Don’t laugh! It was Scorpia’s idea anyway, I thought it was a stupid name.”

Oh, so Scorpia had suggested it? Adora’s laugh died down, but Catra didn’t seem to notice. “We don’t even get to meet up much anymore, since I’ve got Horde duties to take care of and Scorpia’s always off to visit her girlfriend. Ugh, was it Entrapta who told you? It totally was, wasn’t it?”

Adora nodded, smiling bitterly. She had also felt something similar, since Bow and Glimmer were usually doing diplomacy missions as representatives of Bright Moon, while Adora still needed to heal Etheria’s natural balance. It was rare that all three of them could meet up nowadays, usually they would only get a chance to talk through Bow’s tracker pads in the evening. Adora could take more missions with them, of course, but she also wanted to give them time alone with each other. Wait, speaking of…

“Scorpia’s…girlfriend?”

Catra nodded. “Yeah, Perfuma. They’re not really official, but Scorpia’s been requesting way more missions to Plumeria and she’s as subtle as a tank, so it was easy to connect the dots.”

“I thought Scorpia asked you out?” Adora felt her heart squeeze with joy as Catra doubled over laughing. Maybe it wasn’t a good thing to be so happy that Catra was single, especially since just being friends again was already a distant dream. Still, as Catra smiled at her teasingly, Adora couldn’t find it in herself to give up the hope that eventually, maybe…

“I can’t believe you knew about  _ that _ but didn’t know what the Horde was up to until I sent Kyle over to Bright Moon.” Catra leaned against the fence again, resting her arms on it while still facing Adora. Catra’s eyes sparkled, and the gray-blue evening sky was the perfect background for the mix of blue and gold. Adora felt herself smile as her heart rate skyrocketed, because after all that happened between them, she had  _ missed _ seeing Catra like this, so unguarded and relaxed. It was so incredibly distracting, seeing Catra’s confident poise, and how it had matured with her.

It took a second to remember what they were talking about.

“Hey, we were busy trying to fix up Etheria, we didn’t have time to figure that out.” Adora stepped closer to the fence, leaning herself against it to watch the moonset. Catra was so close Adora could feel the body heat burning between them, and it was so tempting to just lean into her like they were kids again. “What  _ did _ happen in the Horde, anyway? I know Entrapta’s been upgrading things, but…now you’re in charge, and everyone here seems so happy, it’s all so different.”

Catra frowned and looked up at the clouded sky. “It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, you know. Entrapta and Scorpia helped me get over a ton of shit, like Shadow Weaver’s  _ superb _ parenting.” Catra paused, and smiled wryly at Adora. “I guess you already know, but the Horde was pretty awful at raising kids. I didn’t want anyone to go through that like we did.”

Adora hummed in response. She tried not to wonder how much Catra had gotten over. Was she part of it? Their old friendship? That must have been around when Catra stopped seeking her out in the midst of battles then. Sure, it was a relief to hear about how much she had let go of their abusive past, and how she was trying to right the Horde’s wrongs, but a selfish part of Adora wanted Catra to always stay focused on her.

“Anyway,” Catra was continuing, seemingly misunderstanding the emotional turmoil Adora was feeling. “I decided I wanted to overthrow Hordak after that, which was pretty easy since he almost never left his lab. I was practically running everything myself anyways, while he and Entrapta just had fun working on tech.” Catra ran a hand behind her neck, and this time Adora caught sight of a crooked scar running down her arm, almost parallel to Catra’s stripes. She reached out without thinking and cradled it, gently examining the wound. The fur must have covered it from a distance, but up close it was plain to see how deep it must have cut.

“Catra, did…” Adora ran her hands over the damaged skin. It looked new; the scar tissue was still rough and sensitive, considering how Catra flinched and pulled back. “Was this from Hordak?”

“Nah, not that one. That was…” Catra seemed to hesitate, but Adora’s determined gaze seemed enough to encourage her. It was so terribly similar to their old habits, how Catra hid her injuries and Adora fussed over them. Except Adora hadn’t been there when Catra got hurt, couldn’t protect her or help her heal. “Not everyone was happy when I took down Hordak, you know? We’re still dealing with the occasional power hungry insurgent who doesn’t like how I run things.”

“Catra…” Adora felt a surge of guilt and shame well up in her. “I’m sorry.” Everything was growing hazy, and she couldn’t choke down the sob that escaped her.

“Hey, hey.” Catra stepped forward and after only a moment’s hesitation, wrapped herself around Adora, gently holding her. “It’s in the past, I’m fine, see? It wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle.” Catra rubbed slow circles on Adora’s back.”It’s okay, it’s okay.”

Feeling Catra’s rough mane and soft fur was painfully familiar, and Adora couldn’t help but nuzzle further into the crook of her neck. It took her some time to calm down, but eventually she cleared her throat as she pulled back a little, though Catra’s arms were still loosely draped around her waist. She hadn’t comforted her like that since they were children, when Adora had cried over Catra’s wounds after a training simulation mishap when they were kids. To break down the same way, years later, was a mix of comforting nostalgia and embarrassment.

“It’s…it’s not okay, Catra. I promised you we’d look out for each other, but then…” Adora felt her tears welling up again. “I  _ left  _ you, Catra, and I know it was the right thing to do, that Etheria needed She-Ra but-“

“Shh, it’s okay.” Catra was smiling at her, giving her such a soft look that Adora’s breath caught. She felt Catra wipe away her tears, and she couldn’t help but close her eyes and lean into Catra’s hand. “You’re still so selfless, you know that? You always do the right thing, even if it’s not what  _ you _ want. I know that now. It hurt, sure, that you never seemed to notice that the Horde was evil when they abused me, but you join up with the Rebellion as soon as random people are in danger.” Adora felt the shame squeezing her heart, and opened her mouth to apologize again, but Catra immediately shushed her and continued. “Even so, I could’ve followed you, stayed by your side like always. But I had a lot to work through, and…” Catra’s eyes burned holes into Adora, the fierce determination and regret stunning her. “ _ Fuck _ , Adora, I’m still working through it, but that’s no excuse for what I did to you. I broke that promise just as much as you did. I still have a lot to work on until I’m better.”

“Is that…is that why you took over the Horde? You wanted to make things right?” Catra let go of her, and took a step back. Something painful ghosted over her expression.

“No, I mean, yeah, it was the right thing to do, but I had another reason for it.” Catra rubbed at her scar, her tail uncurling from Adora’s feet. She hadn’t even noticed that was there.

“Then why…?” Why  _ did _ Catra take over the Horde? Why change things so much? A realization struck Adora. When they were still teenagers, they had wanted to take over the Horde, make things better for its people, and rule over it together. It was a selfish, ambitious dream, one Adora had desperately held onto to rationalize the intense physical and mental training, but it seemed that Catra had followed through with it. “We used to talk about making things better for everyone here, didn’t we?”

Catra’s eyes widened, and the amazement and affection she was expressing made Adora’s heart race. “You remembered?” Catra whispered reverently, like she was afraid that Adora would tell her no, that she had forgotten everything they had been to each other.

“Of course, we promised to do that together, didn’t we?” Adora couldn’t help the smile on her face. Knowing Catra had valued their childhood dreams so much, enough to  _ overthrow Hordak _ , was such an incredible, blissful feeling, and Adora never wanted to let that go.

Catra giggled, looking happier than Adora had seen her in years. “It was pretty weird, working for a greater good and all. That’s usually your thing.” Catra’s voice was teasing, comfortable, like they were cadets all over again.

They stared at each other for a moment, letting the silence grow comfortable. Nighttime was almost upon them, and Catra’s face was illuminated beautifully by the dim electric lights of the Fright Zone. Adora never wanted to leave, not after so much time spent being apart, but she knew Bow and Glimmer would worry if she didn’t head back soon.

“Hey, Catra?” Catra hummed, and Adora grinned as she noticed the quiet purr she could hear. “Can I come visit again? Not because I have to rebuild Etheria, but just to catch up?”

A conflicted expression flickered over Catra’s face, and Adora’s heart stopped. Was it still too soon? Had she rushed things? If it was up to Adora, she wouldn’t leave Catra’s side for even a second, but…

“What if…what if you didn’t have to visit?” Adora blinked, not understanding. “I mean, we promised to run the Horde together, didn’t we?” A shy, hopeful smile illuminated Catra’s features, her blue and gold eyes scanning Adora’s face for a reaction.

“Are you…asking me to stay with you?”

“I-I know it might be too soon, I mean we spent like five years all, you know, so if you need time to decide, that’s fine. I just thought Entrapta could use your help figuring out First Ones’ tech, and the Fright Zone needs its flow of magic fixed, and we could actually work on that promise to look out for each other, but if you don’t want to-“

How cute, Catra rarely rambled like that. “I’ll stay.” Adora would need to have quite the long talk with Bow and Glimmer, but Bright Moon could handle itself without She-Ra now, and she figured it would be okay to be a little selfish with the war at its end.

“Really?” Catra breathed out, and seeing her look so  _ happy _ just because Adora was willing to stay at her side, was _ breathtaking _ . Adora reached out and pulled Catra closer, letting their foreheads rest against each other.

“I want to stay with you.”

Catra’s eyes watered, and it took a second for her to blink the tears from her eyes. They shared a fond look, but then Catra’s gaze flickered downwards and  _ oh. _

Catra wanted to kiss her. Adora didn’t want to hold back anymore, and she leaned down, heart pounding against her chest, until she could feel Catra’s breath over her lips. She let her eyes close, hoping Catra would move closer, but instead she pulled away.

“Wait, wait, before you agree to anything, I need to be honest with you.” Adora nervously eyed Catra, and she could see her tail lashing at the air behind her, her ears pulled back. “It’s apparently something that Scorpia and Entrapta helped me with, you know? Being honest about how I feel. So, here goes I guess.”

Catra gave her a determined stare, undermined a little by the nervousness she was clearly feeling. “For the longest time, I-“ Catra paused, bracing herself. “I was in love with you, and you meant the world to me. Nothing else mattered, as long as we were together.”

Catra’s words faded out, and Adora could only focus on one word.  _ Was. Was.  _ Catra was still speaking, however, and Adora forced her feelings down to listen. She had plenty of practice after all.

“But now, I have so much more to keep me grounded here, so I don’t need to be by your side. Not like before. Still, I-I just want to make one thing clear.” Catra took a deep breath, and Adora waited for the sting of rejection, the knowledge that there was no chance between them any more of anything other than friendship. “Even if I don’t need to be by your side anymore, I still want to spend every day with you. I still love you, Adora, and no matter how much I tried I was never able to stop.”

Oh.  _ Oh _ . Adora felt tears fall down her cheeks, and Catra was panicking and trying to apologize, but Adora could only laugh. Her cheeks hurt from how much she was smiling. First Ones, was it that simple? Of course not, there was still so much to do, so much between them they needed to sort out, but right now, she couldn’t bring herself to care. That was a problem for future Adora and Catra.

“I love you too.”

“R-really?”

“Just kiss me already.” And Catra smiled at her, and did. It was imperfect, so incredibly awkward, but feeling Catra purr against her lips and the current that ran through her, Adora was more than happy.

This time, she was going to stay, and fulfill their promise to each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's that. I finally finished up this fic, though I guess I was technically done a while ago and just needed to edit it. For those wondering, I don't upload fics that I don't think can't stand on their own or that I haven't already completed, so all three chapters were finished before I uploaded the first. Anyway, after this I'm going to continue working on a RWBY fic that's been in the works for quite a while, but I might do a oneshot for something else here or there.

**Author's Note:**

> Phew, okay.
> 
> This series was too much of a thing for how short it is? But yeah, I think that we don't have nearly as many fics of pining angsty Adora as we should, so I guess I'm filling that role.


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